Release your burdens, and tell your truth.
Why don’t we communicate effectively in the first place?
Because we are conditioned to depend on one another, to have expectations from one another, and all this comes from the fact that we generally only think of ourselves.
Is it a “bad” thing? Nope.
Whether it’s at work, or in our private lives — we’re always thinking of how good of a person we are, how wonderful of a soul we are for always thinking about others, for always being there for them, for working for many years without asking for a raise, and so on.
These thoughts/conversations that we are having with our own selves fool us into believing others think as greatly of us as we do. And so when the moment comes, for something as simply as giving our side of the story — we explode with disproportionate emotions, and obviously, others don’t take it well.
Because, for the majority, they are thinking in the same ways we do. They are mostly thinking of themselves, and they also believe that we are noticing every great thing they do.
Do we? Nope.
We don’t see that our boss thinks greatly of himself for paying us a better salary than other companies pay for the same job. We see that we have been working for six years, and this duck doesn’t reward our hard work we’ve done by giving us a raise.
Being filled with emotions that are created from self-storytelling is what prevents effective communication with others.
We can learn as many “tricks” as we want, and read all the persuasion books. As long as we do not understand that every human (at least 99.99% because there are always exceptions) is programmed to think for himself or herself first; nothing will change.
Once we learn to see things from others’ perspectives, and how it differs from ours — naturally, we mature at a certain level.
We understand that others have their sides of the story, that we do, and that we’re all human beings so it’s fair enough. We understand also that there is no point being caught in so many conflicting emotions because they stem from the story we want to believe in, and not the one that is actually so.
In accepting our differences, in seeing things from different perspectives, we release all these burdensome emotions. And we approach people, whether it is our significant other or our boss, and we express ourselves honestly.
We have the right to do so after all. And so do they.
As long as we keep our integrity, and stand up for ourselves — there is nothing to worry to about.
If people get hurt by what you say, then either you have to review your words, or simply let it go. Once they’ve matured enough, they’ll understand. And until they do, it is not your place to worry about that.
Once you have integrated the above, learning to communicate more effectively gets easier. You will practice, and you will have better skills overtime.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself at the beginning, you do not need to give a public speech to hundreds of thousands of people at first. Speak. You’re human. Share what you have to say. Tell us your story.
If you have any question, put them in the comments.
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