Should we always withhold judgement of others?

Photo by Jordan González on Unsplash

We judge others because we are uncomfortable in our own skin. We are just not aware of it.

Why do we feel uncomfortable with ourselves? Because we’ve been programmed to believe others are better than us, that what we see in advertising is reality, and that we should all strive to reach some unrealistic standards — which is a waste of the precious time we have been given to mature.

No one is better than you. And you are not better than others. Those who have what you want have worked for it. Whether ethically or not, they put their energy into making it happen. It is part of their “hero’s journey.” What about your hero’s journey? What level are you currently at?

We all walk our own path. No one is better. No one is worse. We were born with what we need to overcome the challenges/tests life prepared for us. The moment we stop wasting our time wishing and complaining — we have all it takes to grow as a person.

Accepting this, and applying it in our daily lives will naturally decrease our discomfort with ourselves — which in turn, will help us develop more compassion and love for ourselves, which again, we will naturally give to others whom we would have previously condemned.

“Cup runneth over.”

Now, if you see someone doing something questionable — obviously, you want to help if your help is needed. This does not mean you are judging a person. It just means that there are laws, at least universally, and that we should all do our best where we can because we are all accountable even if it doesn’t seem like it.

Withholding judgment is also a bit pointless. Doing the above will organically cancel most judgments that came from preconceived notions. Forcing oneself to stop judging creates tension in ourselves. There is a gentler way to proceed. And you know about it now.

Note that this journey doesn’t end in just a few days. We have internalized a lot of negativity about ourselves; this came mainly from childhood and up into our adult lives.

For many years therefore, we have carried deeply lodged beliefs about ourselves with which we identify. Bringing those beliefs up, healing their underlying emotions, and letting go of our grudges demands patience. Not only with others, but more importantly, with ourselves.

Changing as a person isn’t for the faint of heart. And wisdom requires some innocence — some openness in allowing things to move around.

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