It’s okay to be human
As you may well know, anger as well as overwhelming emotions in general are a delicate matter to deal with.
Before going into practices that help cope with anger and strong emotions in general, it’s important to understand why we feel them in the first place.
As a society, we have a conceptualized view about how things should be.
We are human beings, we have emotions, we have thoughts, we behave in different ways. And because some of our ways have proved to be “dangerous” at times; we have established rules to get a hold of ourselves.
While these rules have helped create some form of structure for us; our overemphasis on them, which comes from our attachment to how a Utopian society should operate — has slowly made us feel imprisoned.
As an example, most of us grew up believing sex should be condemned because it’s a “sin” or because it’s impure. While we have sexual intercourse in general, this condemnation that has been programmed into us; lurking deep in our subconscious mind as a limiting belief — still operates.
And because it does, it creates an unnecessary craving for sex as well as different forms of perversity.
The lesson here is simple: The more we condemn/judge ourselves for being human, the more our “appetite” for the object of our condemnation grows, and the more exaggerated/destructive our actions turn out to be.
Like with sex, most of us have been programmed to condemn our feelings, to put on a smile and pretend all is fine. It’s “politeness” or “good manners.” Sure, we need to be responsible and not put our problems on others. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t acknowledge our feelings at all however.
You can see from this pattern that as we age, it becomes our second nature to condemn our emotions, to condemn our instincts, to condemn ourselves in general — and to conform to worldly rules and dogmas.
Denying ourselves is obviously unhealthy. That’s why most people are superficial today.
And that is why we spend our lifetime looking for completion which we believe is outside ourselves, through exotic experiences or vacations, when in fact, this itch we’ve been yearning to scratch has always been inside ourselves.
Now, knowing this, what can we do about it?
The first thought that pops may suggest we unleash ourselves and turn into emotional werewolves. Been there, done that. Not a good choice.
Here’s what to do instead.
Embrace the fact that emotions are natural. Embrace the fact that each one of us is walking a path that is unique to us, and that means — how we behave (mentally, emotionally and physically) won’t always align with what is expected from us. Embrace the fact that while we have experts and “authorities,” no one knows everything. Sometimes, our path may be completely different than our peers’, and that’s okay too.
Another important thing to do is to embrace our humaneness. We are not perfect. Social media, movies, and the like are all about marketing. Not reality. Learning to look at ourselves, with our “flaws,” which every single human being on Earth possesses, is the fastest way to learn our life lessons.
Now here are some practices to help you deal with overwhelming emotions in general.
- The basics. Make sure you rest and take breaks as much as you need. Daily living puts a lot of pressure on us. Learning to relax and have fun is essential. Also, make sure you feed your body with what it needs. Whole foods. Good water. You know enough about it
- Get a journal. Constantly spending time with others turns us into strangers to ourselves. We are our home, our best friend, our first and last partner. Give yourself some time and space to discuss with yourself, see how you’re doing, and talk about things you have on your mind
- Become aware. That’s it. All the above has for only purpose to bring you back to yourself. Learn to pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. Observe your body and how it feels depending on your life’s situations. Develop self-awareness. The more you know yourself, the more of an unstoppable force you become. Fall in love with yourself and your life. Be this interested into learning about yourself
As you learn about yourself through this constant observation, you get to know what triggers strong emotions in you. If you can do it by yourself, or if you need a therapist, you can investigate the cause of those overwhelming emotions.
As you piece the puzzle together, and understand what underlying belief causes problems, you have started releasing the pattern. And when it happens the next time, if you feel less triggered about it; it means you’ve almost completely healed it. Keep going!
I hope it brought you some clarity on the subject. If you have any related question to it, be sure to put them in the comments.
As a final note.
If you felt like what you read was “custom-tailored” to what you needed to hear at this moment, then you’ll probably want to hear more. I started a free newsletter from which I share weekly pieces on effective healing and real spiritual growth. If you’re interested, subscribe here.