Free your instincts
It’s important to be aware that as a society, we generally condemn emotions. And there are many reasons for this.
As a species…
Some of it is common sense; as an example, you don’t want to make a scene everywhere you go otherwise you risk embarrassing yourself, and that would mean others will not like you, and if others don’t like you, you’ll be alone and being alone threatens your survival.
You may think that this train of thoughts is absurd, but if you investigate your unconscious patterns — you’ll be surprised by the kind of nonsense we accept as being true.
Another example, you are naturally kind and caring so you have an idealistic view of the world. You believe everyone is nice and perfect. You want the world to be happy. But soon enough, you realize that people take advantage of your kindness. And you feel hurt in some way, your boundaries haven’t been respected. That’s how you learn to be a little more reserved outside your home.
Think about how people react in general when you’re being unusually nice and loving to them — they’re a bit on the fence, it comes from having gone through similar experiences.
That’s why it’s important not to judge people; their behavior is the result of what they have been through.
As a society…
Another important point. If you let people express themselves in whatever way they want, then some ugly things may come out. That’s why we have certain rules in society. Rules however give us a sense of power and control over others. Human beings crave power. So we push more rules on people.
Putting too much emphasis on those rules have forced most people to shut themselves down. Like everyone else however, these people have emotions, thoughts, desires, aspirations, dreams. And feeling forced to contain everything out of the fear of being judged/condemned suffocates them.
When you look around yourself today, it’s rare to see people filled with life. Yes, sure, they are breathing and walking so we assume they’re alive. But pay attention to them — they don’t vibrate with life.
You can attribute this to a lack of rest, too much stress, too many responsibilities, and what not. It’s true. But it all comes back to this — we have created rules for our own benefits, these rules give us power over others so we keep creating more restrictions, and now we all feel forced to conform to them, and that hurts us.
You can blame the government or some institutions for this matter, it does not really matter who’s fault it is if we’re being honest. Even those who push rules on others are conforming to their hierarchy.
It has less to do with the outer world therefore, and more to do with the inner one; we are not feeling a burden because the world wants to control us — we are feeling burdened because we believe we can be caged.
This is an important lesson we’re all learning. We are meant to express ourselves and enjoy our lives. Worldly factors simply create an environment in which we feel “blocked,” which push us to ask question and discover for ourselves how we would like to live.
Through this act of questioning, we bring our conditioning out, and we give it a close look. That’s how we realize we’ve accepted many things as being true, when in fact they’re not. And doing so has resulted in us feeling blocked, when in fact we’re not.
This is actually what the spiritual path is all about.
Now coming back to the subject.
When we understand that emotions are not “wrong,” we embrace them for what they are. We may feel anger in a certain situation, which is condemned by society in general, but because we did the preliminary work — we simply become aware of the anger within us, and we observe it.
This very act of not “battling” our anger nor condemning ourselves for feeling angry loosens things up. We’re not identified with the anger, we sense it, we understand that it’s normal and natural, and because we do — we can express ourselves about it.
In this case, we communicate with the people involved or with someone we trust, about our anger.
Whether or not they react isn’t important. What is important is giving expression to our feelings. We can do this by speaking with people, expressing ourselves using creative means, working out, writing our thoughts in a journal, and so on.
As we keep going through this process of learning to honor our feelings, and not shut them down out of fear, we get into touch with ourselves. We get to know ourselves. We become more self-aware.
And through understanding ourselves, we know who we are and where we stand in life. We accept ourselves, we love and become more kind with ourselves. Our “cup” becomes full, and naturally, this love overflows and nourishes others.
In recap:
- Learn to accept that you have an emotional nature and that there is nothing wrong with feeling emotions
- Don’t judge your emotions based on preconceived notions; think for yourself, and understand that your feelings must be acknowledged
- Express your emotions in healthy ways; don’t blame or condemn people, keep your power within, and find means to express yourself
- As you keep working on yourself — you develop a healthier relationship with yourself, which grounds you in the moment and make you more self-aware, more at ease with yourself
- Your newly found confidence in yourself, and love for yourself, will radiate outward and nourish others
- You’ll become a better human being, and the world will benefit from your maturity
I hope this answer brought you some clarity. If you have any related questions, be sure to ask them in the comments.
As a final note.
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Thank you for reading!