Conflicts Purify Relationships

Photo by Ian Stauffer on Unsplash

Very often, the world we’ve created for ourselves makes us feel bad for standing up for ourselves.

We come from our ancestors, who lived challenging lives, having the task to figure out what it meant to be a human being, on Earth.

It’s thanks to their efforts, that we have a clue or two about living, those efforts they gave us as their legacy — those efforts, and lessons we still carry through our DNA.

While most of their lessons increased their lifespan — for instance, doing what everyone else did seemed to be safe, therefore, we’re naturally compelled to buy stuff with the most reviews — living according to their conceptions of life, which was respective of the time they lived in, and not necessarily adequate for our current times, creates glitches in our lives.

Yet, most of us simply go about those lives, living according to old beliefs, from different times. And then we’re surprised that we’re unable to be at peace.

Of such limited concept is that of conformity.

Now, most people try to fight conformity through rebellions, revolutions and what not, this is admirable but, true revolution happens within, and out of understanding, we can take the proper actions in the outer world. The world out there is simply a canvas for us to paint on it, the wisdom we’ve acquired from our depth.

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It’s true that as a whole, we have to learn to function together, and having some awareness about collective behaviors helps us deal with our fellow human beings.

In case of a fire incident as an example, if everyone is running away from a certain place, it’s normal to assume that that place is dangerous, and run too. Our life depends on it.

What we have to understand however is that this herd mentality is stronger in animals; and human beings are the bridge between the animal kingdom and the “kingdom of heaven.”

This means we’re a link between both; we come from the animal kingdom, the kingdom ruled by instincts and programmed patterns, and we move towards the kingdom of heaven, the kingdom ruled by possibilities, freedom and wisdom.

The choice is ours.

For now, most human beings enjoy their lives according to programmed patterns and instincts. There’s nothing wrong with that. We all have free will.

Eventually however, as we learn from our experiences and become wiser, we heal the many distortions in the form of thoughts and emotions we’ve accumulated throughout our experiences.

With this healing, we open the way for our higher nature to express itself through us, and into our lives.

In a world ruled by conformity and herd mentality, how is this higher nature to function?

Our higher nature, or higher self, lives with different principles.

One of those principles, which is the subject of this piece, is that of integrity. Integrity with oneself first, and then others. When we are transparent with ourselves, we don’t store negative emotions such as envy, hate or resentment.

In the case of an argument as an example, our higher nature is open-minded — humble. That means never assuming anything, always learning from everything — without, however, compromising the values one stands for.

We all evolve at our own pace. Living is not a race.

We can’t force others to live according to our worldview. Coming from such a place would make it clear we have not integrated our lessons ourselves.

When we come from a place of integrity on the other hand, we never compromise ourselves.

This doesn’t mean fighting those who don’t understand us, or those who have different point of views. It means respecting the other’s choice, with love — while also respecting ours, with love.

We will all meet some day. We will all share conversations. We will agree on some topics, sometimes we won’t. While we’re programmed to resent those people who are different from us, that’s exactly when we’ll have to rise above our lower tendencies, respect people for the choices they made, and remain loyal to ours.

Living this way frees us from passive-aggressive behaviors that encourage resentment, expectations, and unhealthy lifestyles.

Whatever your beliefs are, wherever you come from, we all have the same origin, and we’re all heading to the same destination. At times it may seem like it’s not the case, but all trajectories lead to this one destination that is love.

Respect yourself as you respect others. Your values are true for you in this moment. Some day, you may want to change your mind. Perhaps, you won’t. At least not in this lifetime. Free will. Remember. Everyone has free will.

Standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you’re being “bad,” quite the contrary, standing up for yourself means you’re changing a trend that has limited you. And in doing so, you’re not the only one to benefit — remember, we’re a whole.

As a final note.

If you’ve been meditating, using affirmations and thinking positively for a while now, without necessarily integrating spiritual truths at a soul level even though you understand them intellectually — I’ve written a book to help you understand the main blocks to true spiritual growth, and how to overcome them. Check Spiritual Transition here.

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